Saturday, December 7, 2013

Thankful for the Process

The long Thanksgiving weekend started out well enough. On Wednesday night I finalized what I would cook, got all the ingredients, and did a little prep. I drew my food inspiration from Smitten Kitchen, and decided to make the green bean casserole with crispy onions and upsidedown gingerbread apple cake, plus some homemade rolls.

On Thursday I woke up early to a thick frost and thick fog. I headed to Ballard for my first "Turkey Trot"- just a 5K, but still a good way to start the day with exercise before long hours of eating and lounging. Plus, all the proceeds benefits the Ballard food bank. There were runners, walkers, adults, kids, dogs, costumes, and even some people wearing giant pie recipes written on butcher paper hanging down their backs. The race ended at Golden Gardens, which usually has a beautiful view of the Puget Sound and Olympic mountains. That morning however, it was completely socked in. But that didn't dampen anyone's spirits!
In the afternoon I headed to my mom's house, along with 4 out of my 5 siblings. Three of those siblings have had kids in the last year, so there were 3 sweet babies. We ate good food and held cute babies and played games and changed diapers and tossed kids in the air.
Then a family friend made a casual, harmless comment... that I took the wrong way. It was a sensitive issue and it just pushed a button in me.

I had some much-needed time to myself on Friday. Time to sleep in, drink coffee at home, vacuum my room, eat leftovers, read a book, work in the garden. It was before the cold snap hit and it was actually quite pleasant and meditative to be outside raking leaves, weeding, checking the worm bin, and mulching the garlic. On Saturday I went for a long run, had beer and pizza with a dear friend, and saw a really good movie. It took a couple days and a little perspective, but I finally saw it: Getting upset was just a reflection on me, not the family friend.

I called him up to apologize, and it ended up being one of the the most honest and healing conversations I've had in a really long time. He didn't roll his eyes at me or call me overly-sensitive. He didn't scoff or ream me for my rudeness. He didn't judge where I was at or say what I should or shouldn't feel. He simply met me exactly where I was at, and really listened.

It reminded me that a little compassion can go a long way, and the importance of just being present with some one. I don't have to agree or disagree, or have the solution. But I do have to acknowledge that I feel something before it's possible to move forward. I hung up the phone after that talk feeling one hundred times better.

I am grateful to have had time to work through my own process. And grateful for good friends, especially the ones who are willing to get real and be so supportive. And that lasts way after Thanksgiving is over.

1 comment:

ElizaBeth said...

As Mr. Johnston from high school would say, "Good on you!" Thank you for your honest sharing about a topic you could have sheepishly swept under the rug. We all overreact in the moment; it's how we recover that counts. You are clearly a champion recoverer.